I'm probably courting additional and worse mockery by posting this but here goes. I will have you know that in the ten minutes it took me to eat my vanilla soft serve this evening (peanut butter toppping) I was bitten exactly five times by what I assume were multiple mosquitoes (left elbow, right elbow, right knee, top of left foot and back of left calf). I say multiple mosquitoes because of the machine gun rapidity with which the vermin assaulted me. I hadn't even finished the cherry. To be fair though, I am the kind of person who will wait almost until the end before said person eats their cherry. It's a taoist form of self discipline. I know, I know, pretty hypocritical when I don't have the self discipline to restrain from fatty, peanut batter laden indulgences. I am the proverbial orderer of a big mac value meal with a diet coke on the side. Anyway, all that is a long way of saying that it doesn't matter what blasted time of the day I go out there, it all comes to the same tragic, annoying, red, puffy, itchy end. Next time I'll eat it in the car...and maybe have some celery with it.
What made you think of this
ReplyDeletegem,Dad? I like it.
Poor Frank: just 'cause he can't do outdoors. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteIronically, I'm also allergic to both mad dogs AND Englishmen.
ReplyDeleteI'm probably courting additional and worse mockery by posting this but here goes. I will have you know that in the ten minutes it took me to eat my vanilla soft serve this evening (peanut butter toppping) I was bitten exactly five times by what I assume were multiple mosquitoes (left elbow, right elbow, right knee, top of left foot and back of left calf). I say multiple mosquitoes because of the machine gun rapidity with which the vermin assaulted me. I hadn't even finished the cherry. To be fair though, I am the kind of person who will wait almost until the end before said person eats their cherry. It's a taoist form of self discipline. I know, I know, pretty hypocritical when I don't have the self discipline to restrain from fatty, peanut batter laden indulgences. I am the proverbial orderer of a big mac value meal with a diet coke on the side. Anyway, all that is a long way of saying that it doesn't matter what blasted time of the day I go out there, it all comes to the same tragic, annoying, red, puffy, itchy end. Next time I'll eat it in the car...and maybe have some celery with it.
ReplyDelete