The questions immediately came:"What are those?". "How come we don't get any?"
So I explained to the boys, as I have in the past explained to the Blanchard boys, Maggie, the Buri children and the Gramuglia boys, the reason for the rings: that we at home have our own rings and use them for our napkins so that we can use the same napkins, usually for a week, at which time they are washed. I went on to say that when someone is visiting for more than 1 day, he or she picks a ring from my "napkin ring bowl" and that ring is used for the entirety of the visit.
Maggie always got a kick out of this - always wanted to choose different rings for different evenings she was here. And I always let her. She liked the tradition so much that I gave her a favorite napkin ring - and then bought her another - and handed her 2 napkins I rarely used so that she could do her own napkin thing when she went home.
Last summer, when the Blanchard's left us after their house fire, I bought them each "wooden african wildlife" napkin rings as a "welcome back to your home" gift. This was inspired by Lisette who brought back from Africa 2 beautiful stone elephant rings for my collection.
Cyrus and Patrick were intrigued, if a bit confused, with the whole napkin ring concept. So I pulled out my bowl and showed them the various rings. At the same time, I pulled out Brent and Aloise's napkins - with rings attached - that had been in the basket with Dad's and mine. This to better illustrate the idea "a ring if you have more than 1 meal here". No sooner had I placed Aloise's napkin on the table - not even in the time it takes to blink - Dad exclaimed, "But you can't pick Aloise's ring. That ring is sacred! It will always be hers".
And so it is. As has been Brent's.
When I got Brent his ring I was hard pressed to find any that would be suitable for a boy or man. Still, when men and boys visited, I never gave them the option of using Brent's ring. Never. (Instead, I searched until I found 1 or 2 that could be used for males, including one given to me by Lisette.)
I hang onto things like this when people I love are no longer here or in my life. Silly maybe, but there it is.
Dad never commented to me about my hanging onto Brent's ring; I don't think he realized I did this. But when he pronounced that Aloise's ring was to be used only by her, I thought, "Yes", this is how it must be.
Aloise and Brent: you, our youngest, live the farthest away from us. You know how much we love and miss you. And now, know this as well: We will never share your napkin rings. Never.
