I'm probably courting additional and worse mockery by posting this but here goes. I will have you know that in the ten minutes it took me to eat my vanilla soft serve this evening (peanut butter toppping) I was bitten exactly five times by what I assume were multiple mosquitoes (left elbow, right elbow, right knee, top of left foot and back of left calf). I say multiple mosquitoes because of the machine gun rapidity with which the vermin assaulted me. I hadn't even finished the cherry. To be fair though, I am the kind of person who will wait almost until the end before said person eats their cherry. It's a taoist form of self discipline. I know, I know, pretty hypocritical when I don't have the self discipline to restrain from fatty, peanut batter laden indulgences. I am the proverbial orderer of a big mac value meal with a diet coke on the side. Anyway, all that is a long way of saying that it doesn't matter what blasted time of the day I go out there, it all comes to the same tragic, annoying, red, puffy, itchy end. Next time I'll eat it in the car...and maybe have some celery with it.
4 comments:
What made you think of this
gem,Dad? I like it.
Poor Frank: just 'cause he can't do outdoors. Sigh.
Ironically, I'm also allergic to both mad dogs AND Englishmen.
I'm probably courting additional and worse mockery by posting this but here goes. I will have you know that in the ten minutes it took me to eat my vanilla soft serve this evening (peanut butter toppping) I was bitten exactly five times by what I assume were multiple mosquitoes (left elbow, right elbow, right knee, top of left foot and back of left calf). I say multiple mosquitoes because of the machine gun rapidity with which the vermin assaulted me. I hadn't even finished the cherry. To be fair though, I am the kind of person who will wait almost until the end before said person eats their cherry. It's a taoist form of self discipline. I know, I know, pretty hypocritical when I don't have the self discipline to restrain from fatty, peanut batter laden indulgences. I am the proverbial orderer of a big mac value meal with a diet coke on the side. Anyway, all that is a long way of saying that it doesn't matter what blasted time of the day I go out there, it all comes to the same tragic, annoying, red, puffy, itchy end. Next time I'll eat it in the car...and maybe have some celery with it.
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