Friday, November 02, 2007

Get a Life

The more I thought about Lisette's issue at work, the madder I got. So I kind of decided to tell them off. At first I was going to send it to one of those public affairs complaint lines but then I saw the email of the president in the directory and off it went. I copied the email I sent below. I doubt I'll get a response but something had to be said I think (don't worry Lisette I changed your name). Should I have just left it alone? You really should never email mad.


From: Gramuglia, Frank [mailto:fgramuglia@yahoo.com]
Sent: Friday, November 02, 2007 7:40 PM
To: henriksoncr@metlife.com
Cc: metbod@metlife.com
Subject: Totalitarian Swine


Mr. C. Robert Henrikson
Chairman of the Board, President and Chief Executive Officer
MetLife, Inc.
200 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10166-0188

Cc: Board of Directors

Dear “Sir”,

I’m directing a scathing invective against you personally since you are paid obscene sums to be the public face of a fascist, propagandistic and blog-hating regime. That the hubris of your organization stands out in an age of unprecedented corporate greed and irresponsibility is truly an incredible feat and a testament to your relentless pursuit of godless and imperialistic goals.

Perhaps I should pause here and go back. It could be that up there in the penthouse of the MetLife building, reclining in your customized plush ergonomic chair, you may not be aware of the existence and office life of the honest, hard-working folks in your captivity. It is their toil that pays for the many private jets in your fleet and their good work should be compensated well and rewarded with certain liberties and fringe benefits. There is a newly arrived young lady who is now in your employ at the Hartford office. In order to protect her identity we will call her L. Brewste. L is merely a low level functionary – certainly not as prominent a square in the global org chart as someone like you - but a person nonetheless. Recently, L was victimized by your oppressive and thuggish IT group when they abruptly cut off her access to an innocent family blog in violation not only of her first amendment rights but also of any sense of common decency and ethics. The content of this site is well within the guidelines of appropriate business decorum. Viewing the many, many baby photos, birthday wishes, discussion threads, contests and general good natured mockery was a peppy midday boost for L and made her a much more productive employee. Her sadness and anger cannot be adequately articulated. She now has low morale.

If my words have not aroused your basic, innate understanding of human morality, then I tremble for the future of MetLife under your leadership. I predict the MetLife blimp will be your Hindenburg, sir, and Snoopy, bloodied and twitching on the side of the road, will never see the speeding truck that didn't bother to slow down.

I look forward to a swift reversal of company policy on internet usage and eagerly await your response.

Best Regards,

Frank Gramuglia

6 comments:

storminomahoney said...

THis is yet another example of how, although I haven't seen you in person or spoken to you in about a year, I aways feel like I've just had a visit with you. Your sense f humor is wonderful.

Keep it coming.

Anonymous said...

Frank, what you have done here is commendable, but this must be seen as just the beginning. The inconvenient truth here is that the fight for the inalienable right to blog at the workplace against these pinko fascists will not be won with one letter.

Perhaps a hard-hitting documentary--"Slicko" or some such--that lays out all the facts. Lisette, we might need you to sit outside his penthouse with a printout of this blog. We know it's cold, but you represent the people now. (And as compensation, you can take a break and visit the Christmas tree.)

We can muster up some media. The people will be heard.

Vivo los Brewsters Millions!

KBB said...

Dear Frank:
Perhaps if L had invited me to take a look at her family blogsite, I might have had a change of heart.

As it is, sitting in a plush ergonimic chair all day isn't what it's cut out to be.

I could have been a voyeaur rather than googling "100 and 1 different way to make paper airplanes".

Think of the possibilities!

Simply put: I frown on my employers having more fun than I do.

Sincerely,
Sir

Lisette said...

The head of MetLife must have received your letter, Frank, because I can suddenly access the blog now... THANKS FRANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frank said...

I'm here to serve, Lisette, but I can;t take all of the credit. Clare gained a lot of headway on this issue with her two documentaries: C. Robert and Me and Blogging for Columbine.

Oh, and N. O'rM. Thanks, honey. Miss you all.

Frank said...

Dear Sir,

I am in receipt of your post dated November 3rd. Many of your comments gave mne great pause and, now that I've had the time to reflect, I feel compelled to respond to your vile entreaties. You are phonier than a History Channel special on the Life of Jesus. First you join the blog then you bring down the blog in a hostile takeover. I see through your ploy, sir, and if you think you can sabotage what's been created here with your Trojan horse antics then your judgment is about as accurate as Odysseus' compass. They don't teach the classics at Harvard business school it seems. Why don't you start your own blog for filthy, capitalist, CEOs like yourself. You can exchange pictures of your sweatshops and yuk it up about who has the biggest carbon footprint and who's closed the most domestic manufacturing plants in the past year. You people make me sick.

Frank

PS - Thanks for letting Lisette back on the blog.