Disclaimer: Nothing in the following statement is designed in any way to exclude, impugn or otherwise hurt the feelings of anyone or anything on the planet (and other planets for that matter, if applicable). Quite the opposite in fact. It is meant to be an all-encompassing, non-discriminatory, non-judgmental message directed to all sentient beings. It affirms the moral equivalence of all creatures, systems of belief, opinions and worldviews. (Except of course if any of your beliefs or opinions conflict with that last statement). Any similarity between this note and any specific holiday or overtly religious message is purely coincidental and is apologized for in advance. Truly. Please don't call the ACLU or anything. I am part of the solution damnit!
Have a pleasurable[1] and inoffensive early December to mid January![2] May your seasonal wishes[3] come true[4] filling you with benign warmth in the coming year!
1 All physical and emotional pleasure is intended. In rare circumstances, vaguely spiritual pleasure is also intended.
2 This wish is transferrable to more appropriate dates for those who do not observe the Gregorian calendar.
3 Wishes directed at a deity or deities not included. Wishes may come true provided they don’t conflict with others’ wishes. Void where local town ordinances or court rulings prohibit such wishing.
4 Use of the word ‘true’ is not meant to imply an objective or uniform definition. Readers are strongly encouraged to develop their own definition(s).
3 comments:
Yay, Frank! You really are back!
Hahahahah, oh dang, this is good.
Love it.
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