A broad volunteering, part 7

Habari family!

Sorry it's been so long since I've last posted (although you all might be relieved about it -- I was sort of taking over this blog). I can't believe it's June already. As with most things, this past (almost) three months have gone by so quickly and, at the same time, I feel like I've been here forever.

Just as Cy advised, my two month (and halfway) mark came and I realized how comfortable and happy I've become in Kenya. It's become my home and I can say with all honesty that I love it here. Aside from missing Mike, I no longer have those cravings for home and, as I'm sure you can all imagine, it's incredibly refreshing. At the beginning of May just about everyone I had been living with left and I suppose a sort of mental switch went off. This place can mess with your head a bit -- no matter how diligent you are with work you can still feel like you're not accomplishing anything. There are so many emotions involved that I wasn't suspecting. I knew I might feel like I wasn't doing enough, but you can also feel like you aren't taking advantage of the opportunity, probably because there is just so much to see and do. It's a bit hard to explain since it was a bunch of frazzled internal dialogue, but I guess I just wanted to buckle down and stop missing home and begin realizing -- finally -- that I was in Kenya and most likely would never be here again. I set some personal goals and made a list of things to change and do, and it really worked. I walk to and from work on my own, most days, and the alone time and independence has been so unexpectedly wonderful. I feel in control over my time and, even better, I feel like I've earned it. Does that make sense?

I've switched placements and now work at the Rehabilitation Center and am still getting my bearings there, but the boys are wonderful. I still go to Caroline's most afternoons, and I love the women and, of course, the kiddos there more and more. Not sure how I'll leave. Anyway, as with all things in Africa, my actual job at the Rehab is disorganized but there is always something to do. I get to teach, which is the most exciting part considering I only acted as a substitute at Caroline's, and that was pretty rare. I don't have my own classroom everyday, but there aren't always enough teachers for each class, so I act as the sub. This past month I took on the project of redoing the rec room, which was originally a chemistry-lab-turned-art room. It's pretty decrepit with holes in the ceiling and rotting counters and, since I don't have the funds to do a total renovation, I decided just to give it a good clean and paint job. The boys don't really have any space that's there own, other than the crowded dorms, and I just think it's so important to have a place like that. All the other volunteers helped me out with the painting and the boys were more than eager to join as well (although we had to kick them out the past couple of days -- it was getting pretty chaotic). I was and am so happy to do this for them and I just hope that they actually get to use it. In March, other volunteers tried to set up a library for the boys, which they loved even though it was a small room with barely any books, and then the teachers claimed it as a lounge. I told the headteacher that I wanted to paint the rec room but only if the it would be used by the boys and them alone. He agreed, but the majority of the staff there are ridiculous, so we'll see what actually happens. Still have more work to be done in the room, but I'm staying optimistic!

Organizing the troops..

..and getting our paint on.

It was a loooooong day.

I'll show before and after pics when it's fully finished!

This video was taken the first day we started working on the room. My apologies for the crummy camera work and Kyle's terrible dancing. Katie and Kyle are best friends from Canada and they're terrific. Also, that first little guy dancing is Raymond, my number one at the school.



I've also become quite close with my house-mother, Charity, something that is far more gratifying than I had expected. Since I have been here the longest I have somewhat become the go-to person for her, and I really enjoy it. She's really remarkable and it's insane what she's been through for a 32-year-old. Just to update you all on the VICDA predicament, I did speak with them about a month ago. I never mentioned Charity, just pretended I was very money conscious and wanted to make sure out funds were broken down properly. I received a very defensive response and the next day Charity was yelled at. We came home to her nearly in tears, nervous she would loose her job. Ugh, why did I even try? They are really terrible human beings.

What else, what else. I've been trying to take advantage of all my weekends here and do day trips. A few weeks ago I went to the Karen Blixen Museum, which is her actual house, and I think that was one of the times that I most wanted you guys there. It was just so cool and I teared up a bit, which is shocking since I'm usually a really unemotional person (but I think it had a lot to do with wishing you all were with me). I also hiked the Ngogn Hills the other week, which is something I have been wanting to do it since my first weekend here and have planned and canceled so many times. It was gorgeous, gorgeous, but a lot harder than I thought (Oy, my buns!). Also, on the way home I was pick-pocketed in Nairobi and even though I caught the guy, he got away with my camera. I then proceeded to go home and have a bit of a mental breakdown. It just sort of killed the day, which was so good, and made all my frustrations with Kenya surface. But, all is fine now. Just had to go to my bottom bunk (hah), talk to Mike, and cry a bit.

As far as "frustrations" with Kenya goes, I've come to see mine are very minimal compared to others. I've seen many volunteers become very negative about this place, and I think that frustrates me more than Kenya itself. Yes, the corruption is INSANE (I could go on and on about VICDA) and the people can be dishonest and rude, but my God, didn't we know that coming into it? I see people allow these issues to take over there time here and it's sad. I would say my biggest issue, from day one, has been the lack of pride I see in Kenyans. At home, asking for handouts is humbling and, often, humiliating. Here it is second nature and the total norm. Developing relationships with locals is one of the upsides to living here, but when they turn and ask you for money it makes the friendship feel fake and is very defeating. But why let it ruin the experience? It's too bad some volunteers can't see past it. There is so much good here, and I'm happy I'm able to concentrate on it (which is why the camera incident was so frustrating -- I felt like I was turning into them!). Looking back, being Catholic has helped me tremendously here. For all the obvious reasons, but hugely in this area. Faith and Hope, Faith and Hope -- duuuuh.

Once again this post is way too long and I congratulate all of you who read it entirely. Once last shout-out to my boy, Thug. I'm sure you're feeling so much better than you did when we spoke last week, but I love you and TRUST ME, it gets better and better :)

Home soon, losers. Can you believe it???

xoxo Lisette