Happy Birthday, Annie!

It's when I think about your birthday that I go back and count the ages of Maureen, Clare and Cy.  I did it again last night: 3 1/2, 2 1/2, 1 1/2.  And it stops me in my tracks.

I liked my doctor, whom I had been to for only a month before you were born (b/c we moved to SC in August).  I liked him until he came to see me after the delivery and cautioned me not to have any more children.  Why?  Well.  He was all about "how to save up for college and had I thought about that?"

Yikes.  I'm 24 and have 4 kids and the ONLY thing I'm thinking about is how I'm going to get through every day.....especially with Dad leaving in 2 months.   I think I gave him a snarky response.  I think he didn't come back to see me again. 

                     .

Such little people, all of you.

But gosh, we did get by and we did OK and in no time at all you fit right in.

              Had I listened to my doctor, you never would have known these girls and their smiles.

Had I listened to my doctor, we may have had many occasions to travel overseas.  But I wonder if those combined travels would have held the charm of our "one trip to Paris", so unexpected and so fun.







Paris was quite an adventure with you.
I don't know if you were freaked out by the pigeons but, as you can see, I had the same experience when I went to Venice with my parents.

Before we could do anything, we shopped and shopped for your gifts.  We became very familiar with the subway system in Paris, traversing the city from north to south and east to west.  But this, here, is where you mostly wanted to go: Jim Morrisey's grave.  The cemetery is huge; only with the help of a map could we find the gravestone.  

                           Gosh.  Had I listened to my doctor, that center smile, too, would never have been.  God had His plans for Dad and me, as He does for us all. 

  For you, God had something special in mind, something you never could have imagined.   Something that might have knocked you to the ground and kept you there; something that might have forever dampened your spirit.  But wait.  No.  Not you.  

Because even as a little one, you often seemed to live in an "other" world; you gravitated towards the unusual because boring never suited you.   As you grew, the mystery of life and Love took hold of you.  You sought after and were drawn to things and ideas beyond your understanding.  And rather than intimidate you, this not-understanding fueled the fire to know more and more, to seek deeper and deeper.  That seeking would sometimes become bigger than you, that understanding far enough away to cause untold frustration.  

I think you fought hard to hold yourself in check and keep a good balance.    

God had plans for you, your questioning mind, your adventurous spirit, and your steely determination.   He took you up on your desire to please Him.  He used those very qualities  to lead and accompany you in your joys and your sorrows.

You fall?  You pick yourself up.  Because you know Who it is who holds you close, just as you understand the gift of that fall.  You often veil your sufferings.  But when you don't, you tell it like it is; admit to the stumbling and the hurt it causes you.  

Your joys?  They are loud and sweet and bountiful.  And contagious.  Almost irresistible.

The good and the bad, the joys and the sorrows.  You make them real.

So let this little guy, pretty much your image in all things, tell you that, "You don't always get it right, Mom."   
  
Listen to him sometimes, but mostly listen to your heart.  Because, Annie, your heart is our gift. 

                                                HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY YAN